Embracing an ‘identity goal’ vs a hard goal in 2023

You might be thinking, ‘what the heck are you talking about?’, let’s dive in. 

I was in a coaching session this year and was telling (really complaining) to my coach that I didn’t hit a specific revenue goal. 

She stopped me in my tracks and said, ‘Was there any real meaning behind hitting that number? Or was it just an arbitrary revenue number you set for this year?’. The answer was no and yes. It was a ‘stretch goal’, one I almost hit, but one that had no real significance or meaning. 

Then she said, instead of working towards a hard goal, like a specific billing number, why don’t you change the way you view yourself and start to act as if you are already that type of biller? Instead of working towards a particular revenue number, work on building a new identity around the type of person you want to become. For example, how does a top biller act, work, and go about their day-to-day?

James Clear talks about this in his book, Atomic Habits. How creating identity-based habits is an easier way to get the outcome you want, because you are starting at the center with what you believe to be true. 

If I believe that I am already a top biller, I am going to act differently in my day to day. I am going to create better-aligned habits, and make more aligned decisions with the identity I want to embody.  

That was a light bulb moment for me, and honestly a relief. So often the goals we set for ourselves each year, whether realistic or not feel stressful especially when year end comes and we feel like a failure for not hitting them. 

What if maybe instead, you embodied, and acted as if you already were the person you want to be? How different would that feel?

Instead of saying, “I want to lose 10 lbs.”, you embodied a person who takes care of their body and is of (almost) perfect health. The decision between the omelet vs the pancakes would be easier because you are just making the choices and living the life that a healthy person would. 

As a working mom and business owner, this approach to goal setting feels so much less stressful, and so much more achievable. Next year, I know I will look back at 2023 proud of the decisions I made to get closer to the person I want to be without feeling discouraged because I didn’t hit an arbitrary goal.